Conversations with Caspian

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“Hey, handsome. How are you, you sexy beast, you?”

I’m hungry. Do you have food?

“Dude. You’re not hungry. You eat around seven flakes of hay a day.”

I am. I’m starving to death. Do you have food?

“No. I don’t have any food. I missed you.”

No food? You’re boring.

“Well, that’s not very nice. Can I give you a hug?”

I have zero interest in boring people. I’d much rather stare alertly into the distance and pretend you don’t exist.

“Hey, wanna go for a ride?”

Food? Can I eat on this ride?

“No. No food. Just a ride.”

….. fine. It sounds somewhat interesting. I’ll give it a try.

“Thanks for the vote of confidence. Hey, you’re all dirty. Let me brush you. Does that feel good?”

Silence.

“How about over here. Does this feel good?”

Silence.

“I can see your lip trying to twitch – it’s okay. You can tell me if it feels good.”

Okay. It feels a little good.

“How about this? Do you like it when I scratch right here?

Really? Do you really want feedback? I think I should just stand here, and not move. The First Person who trained me said to never move.

“You know darn well I’m serious. We’ve been through this a million times. Please let me know if you like this.”

IN THAT CASE, YES. YES. SCRATCH RIGHT THERE. KEEP SCRATCHING…. you stopped? Why?

“Because it’s time to tack up.”

Oh, is it that time? Here. Let me suck in more air than any horse you’ve ever known in the past. First Person always cinched too hard…. let’s see you try cinching that up, lady.

“Dude, really Caspian? I need to get this past the fifth hole – it won’t even reach the first. How is that even possible?”

That’s as tight as it goes. Any tighter and I’ll die. Do you have food?

“It’s not time to eat right now. Let out your air – I promise I won’t overtighten it.”

Who is that? That horse has food. Maybe he’ll share.

“What that horse is doing is none of your business. Stay where you are.”

Can I say hi?

“No. Focus.”

I think I’ll go say hi.

“NO. GET BEHIND ME. NO SAYING ‘HI’.”

I’M GONNA DIE! I’M GONNA DIE! I’M GONNA… Wow. You just shouted at me with your body. I think I love you. You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met. Hold me. Shout at me some more. Can you do that for me? You’re so incredibly interesting, did you know that?

“Well, I’m sorry I had to yell. I’d rather not have to do that again. Here, let me scratch you for a bit while I wait for you to get distracted so I can cinch you up.”

Nope. Not interested in being scratched. Shout at me again.

“I’m not shouting at you, Caspian. You can focus your attention on me when we’re just hanging out – you know that, right? We don’t have to go through this whole “let me work you hard and remind you I’m in charge before you love me” EVERY time, do we?

Hit me. Just a little bit. Please?

“I’m not hitting you.”

You’re boring.

“Quit being rude, and just relax and have a good time. Can you do that?”

I’m not particularly interested in you if you’re not going to use me.

“FINE. I’ll ride you. Are you happy now?”

Yes.

“You’re weird, but I love you anyways. Hang on, I’m getting up…. HA! Fooled you. At least the girth’s on the third hole now.”

Can you yell at me again? It makes me feel safe. You’re amazing.

“Caspian, can’t you like me when I’m being sweet to you? Also, I don’t want to have to yell at you – let’s work on listening to me when I ask quietly. Sound like a plan, Stan?”

My name’s not Stan.

I’m just teasing you, handsome. Where’s your smile?

You’re not funny.

Lighten up, Caspian. You’re so serious all the time. It’s okay to relax and have a little fun, you know.

I’m saddled. Are you going to make crappy jokes all evening, or are you actually planning on getting some work done?

“Dude, you have issues. Alright, I’m up. Walk forward.”

To the left, is that correct?

“No. Straight forward, please.”

Ahh, to the left. I’ll walk to the left.

“NO. WALK STRAIGHT.”

Mmm, yeah. I like it when you yell at me. Alright. Straight it is. Wait… who is that?

“None of your business.”

This arena is fascinating. Mind if I check everything out?

“Caspian- you’ve been in it a million times. Pay attention to me. I’ll let you know if there’s anything worth looking at.”

Who is that?

“FOCUS.”

Yeaaaah, yell it, baby. Now you’ve got my attention.

“Let’s step it up – how about your fancy running walk gait thing?”

I don’t know how.

“Yes, you do. See? Go faster… yes, perfect.”

Oh. Like that?

“Yup.”

Okay. I’ll trot then.

“What? No, do your gait thing.”

Huh? I can’t hear you.

“Fine. Trot. We can work on that if you want to. Please work a little harder – step out a bit more and collect your body a little bit. If you want to trot, let’s do it right.”

Huh? What’s that? What is this ‘trot’ you speak of? I’m a gaited horse. I only gait.

“Caspian, I swear….. Fine. Gait. I like it better anyways, you big dork.”

Who is that horse over there? They seem nice. Can I go say hi?

“NO. PAY ATTENTION TO ME.”

You’re so pretty when you yell at me. I think I love you. Ask whatever you want – I’ll follow you to the ends of the earth.

*******

Getting to know a horse who spent 7 out of his 8 years of life as a stallion is really interesting – I’ve never dealt with a personality like his before.

Also, someone needs to teach this horse that it’s okay to have a sense of humor. I don’t think he appreciates me laughing at him as much as I do.

Person, why are you just standing there, pointing your phone at me? I’m starving. Literally. Quit messing around and get me food— and none of that grass hay crap, either. I want REAL food – alfalfa, or maybe beet pulp, before I die of starvation…. Are you laughing at me? IT’S NOT FUNNY.

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Where does the time go (For real this time)

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Yes, yes, I know.  It’s totally fall now – but when I first wrote this a week or so ago, the weather hadn’t decided.

Here’s the thing:  I have the clinic mostly written up.  I’ve jotted down all my notes, and I’ve got the next post about 90% done (missing the photos), and am already working on post #3.

BUT:  As you will find out in one of the later posts, while we were there our tent was flooded during a summer storm.  My little Macbook Air tried to hang on, but it died a valiant death about three weeks ago…. and ALL of my post material is on it.

Oh, don’t get me wrong:  All the material is still on safe and sound on the computer, and it still boots up and runs nicely.  I just can’t use the mouse pad.  Or the keyboard.  But, you know, aside from not being able to use the mouse pad or keyboard, everything’s working great. Sure, the 11 inch screen has a giant crack in it, but that’s been there for months, so that doesn’t count.

Anyways.

I’m going to give it one last go later on this week – trying to get my post off of it… and if that fails, I’m going to have to sit down and rewrite everything from scratch. The reason I’ve been so quiet lately is that I’ve been in the middle of a huge sulk about it.  I hate rewriting things – I really do. 

So here’s the post that was supposed to go live a week ago, and then hiccuped for some strange reason:

********

Muggy, hot days melt into crisp, breezy nights.  Is it late summer?  Early fall?  The weather can’t seem to decide.  All around me the trees melt into autumn, green leaves slowly bleeding into red and gold.

Some trees don’t even bother going through the motions.  Hidden, here and there, are bare, spidery branches reaching up to the sky, their lonely trunk surrounded by greenish, fallen leaves. 

Summer is nearly over.

I’ve always wanted to live somewhere where there’s four seasons… and now I do.  It’s incredible – almost soul soothing.  There’s something peaceful in the gentle drift of one season to the next, but what I didn’t anticipate was the urgency I would feel.   

The rain is coming.  The rain is coming.  The rain is coming.

There’s nothing wrong with the rain, and life continues on just the same despite grey soggy weather, but frolicking with two children is just easier beneath the stare of a bright yellow sun. 

The rain is coming. 

The city feels like an animal before a storm – soaking up summer days and sunshine into its soul like a bear preparing for winter.  I find myself caught up in the urgency, running with the herd in a desperate effort to spend every dry moment outside before the grey envelopes once again.

I love the rain.  I’m not a big fan of the constant mud, but I am looking forward to the wind and rain.

Still.

This is the second summer in a row I’ve essentially abandoned this blog during the summer – I don’t know about you, but I think I see a pattern.

So.  What have I been up to in the month (plus) I’ve been quiet?

Writing.  I’ve been writing, writing, writing, WRITING.

And then writing some more.

At some point this summer, I realized that I needed to start making some money in the conceivable future.

I could either take on a full time job, working from home…. which would net us about $500-$600 a month after babysitting fees.

Or I could write.

So, I started writing.  And then writing.  And then I wrote some more.

Honestly, for as quiet as this blog has been you wouldn’t think I’ve been so busy, but I have been.  In fact, I’ve spent so many hours sitting on the couch, writing, that I’ve worn a Becky-butt depression in the cushion.

And if that doesn’t make you feel sexy, I don’t know what will.

I realized the other day that if I’m going to take this whole “career as an author” thing seriously, I ought to have a serious place to write.

So, in between The Bean never being home (it was accountant busy season back when I wrote that – he’s home on vacation now), taking care of the boys, the horse, the dog, the chickens, the cats, and everything else….

I decided to renovate an upstairs room into a writing/office/computer room.

I threw the extra bed into the boys’ toy room:

And then proceeded to spend a depressing amount of time choosing the perfect color paint.  I wanted something yellow – calm, bright, and clean.

I spent close to an hour gathering paint samples from several stores.

I then spent another hour choosing my favorites.

Then I went to Walmart and realized a can of paint was only $10 there, so I spent 45 minutes in the aisle, trying to select the best one. 

Mind you, that was 45 minutes with a DragonMonkey and a Squid in the cart…. I think the three of us were ready to eat each other by the time I finally made my selection.

I brought it home, opened it up, marveled at how perfect it was…..

And then put it on the wall.

I wanted yellow.

What I chose, instead, was YELLLOW!  OMG!  HI!  I’M YELLOW PAINT!

I tried to reconcile myself to it, but it wasn’t happening.

So the next morning, as the Bean was leaving for another 14 hour day at work, I begged him to stop by and pick me out a paint.

I know girls are supposed to be better at this sort of stuff, but, honestly, I suck at it.  Besides, The Bean has an uncanny, almost supernatural ability at picking out paint colors.

He spent less than 10 minutes at Walmart (and that included walking into the store and walking out), called me up, told me the color I wanted, and then headed out to work.

If I wasn’t so grateful I would have been annoyed. 

I spent all day painting, and by the next day I had myself an actual office. 

(Because it’s a panorama photo the color looks weird – it’s less yellow than it is on the right, and more yellow than it is on the left.  Sorry, but I’m too lazy to retake the photo.)

So now I have a writing office – like a gosh darned real writer.  It makes me feel a little smug.

Here’s the skinny on the other stuff that’s been going on in my life:

As far as Caspian is concerned – well, he’s as awesome and beautiful as ever.  He’s putting on weight and is getting very responsive under saddle. 

 (I’m trying to get my bareback seat back… it’s not as easy as when I was 16.)

 (He’s less than thrilled about walking in mud… but he’s definitely getting over it, fast.)

The boys are huge – can you believe Squid’s two and a half, and that DragonMonkey will be FIVE in less than a month?

(It just occurred to me I talked about my horse before my kids.  Whoops.)

Artemis turned one at the end of August- I plan on giving her her own post once I finish playing catch up.  She’s such an awesome dog.

Anyways, I know this is abrupt, but if I try to give this a fancy, pretty ending I’ll never get this off… and then I’ll never finish typing up the clinic, and then all of you guys will hunt me down with pitchforks.

Besides, the Bean’s on vacation right now, so we’re busy doing important stuff… like going down to the river, and stomping in mud puddles, and enjoying the local bowling alley.

 Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to clean the chicken coop…. because my life is awesome like that nowadays (five chickens, wonderful dog, loving husband, healthy kids, gorgeous horse, house in Oregon, burgeoning writing career…. don’t worry, though.  I’m still chubby, so you don’t have to hate me too much.)