So. I turned twenty-six today. I’d like to say that I spent the day pondering the deep significance of another year gone, but in reality, I merely wandered around aimlessly. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I did manage to get some stuff done. I cleaned my room, spent some quality time with family, watched a movie with my wonderful stepdad, put away some laundry…. and spent a great deal of time in front of the mirror, fretfully poking at the two gigantic PIMPLES which have taken up residence on my cheekbone.

Please trust me when I say they’re gigantic. For all of the fellow AdultAcne sufferers, you know what I’m talking about. There are pimples, and then there are PIMPLES. These are PIMPLES. I’m not really sure why they had to make their throbbing appearance on my birthday, but I’m sure there’s some sort of cosmic reason behind it all. Maybe God thought I was a little bit lonely, and that I needed some extra friends? If that’s the case, then I think He knew what He was doing. I’m actually finding myself growing attached to them (Har-Har-Har. Bad Pun.) There’s something riveting at watching them grow to their fully, somewhat majestic glory. It reminds me, somewhat, of the sick fascination I had watching the inevitable decay of Edward. I’m sure I could find a much better thing to spend my time obsessing about on my birthday, but I can’t seem to direct my attention elsewhere. It’s really quite sad.

I mean, shouldn’t I be thinking about my future? Where I’ve been? Where I’m going? Shouldn’t I be thinking about what I’m actually doing in my life that will last? What about contemplating my relationship with God, or the mistakes I’d like to avoid this upcoming year? Wouldn’t that be a beneficial, spiritual, character-building thing to think about?

Yeah, it probably would be. Buuuut, insteaaaad… Hmmm…. Is the right pimple getting bigger than the left pimple? It could be! Let’s poke at it some more!

I came home from work today to a lovely sight… In fact, the only way I can really think to describe it is with a really long, run-on sentence. So, here goes:

My kitten raided beneath my sink, pulled out a box of tampons (yes, yes, I know it’s not kosher to actually talk about those things… but oh well), removed a tampon from the box, removed the wrapper from the tampons, removed the absorbent cotton from the applicator, and finally chewed the cotton into fuzzy submission.

From what I can tell, she repeated this process WITH THE ENTIRE BOX OF TAMPONS. I believe she might have spent the greater part of the day artfully rearranging the tampons around my room. While I can certainly understand why she would be interested in them (they actually do kind of resemble the little catnip mice I buy her to play with), I still find it kind of disturbing to walk into my room and find my kitten delicately batting at the cotton “tail” on the end of her new “mouse”.

I’ve already picked up about six or seven of these things, and I have no idea where she’s stashing them. I can’t see a single tampon-mouse, but every time I assure myself that they are really, truly gone, I turn around and see her scurrying about with a fresh “kill”.

Of course, being me, rather than actually hunting down her secret stash, I think I’m just going to shut off my light and go to sleep.