Go, Bean!

“So, how about you, Becky?  You’re in college?”  The Bean leaned forward to take a sip of his Sam Adams, careful not to lean the elbows of his blue hoodie on anything sticky.

“Yeah, I’m working through the prerequisites to enter a nursing program.”  My shift was over, but as I’d made a beeline for the door, anxious to escape the bar after eight hours of dealing with football fans, I’d seen him there.  I’d only stopped by to say a quick hello, but one thing led to another, and an hour later I was seated on the stool next to him, cocktail waitress apron on the bar by my elbow.

“Nursing, huh?”

“Yeah, I think I’ll like it.  I mean, if I didn’t have to worry about money, I might do something like a Creative Writing degree, or maybe even Spanish… or Sociology… maybe a translation degree…” I trailed off with a laugh. “None of the things I like really pay the bills, so nursing it is.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean.  I was in school for engineering, but when I started making good money selling cars, I never quite finished.” He took another sip of beer, and I studied his face from beneath my lashes.  Man, he had really nice eyes.  Those eyes were incredible.

“Oh, that sucks.”  I sat there a moment, letting silence carry the weight of my sympathy.  He’d already complained to me about the way the car industry had tanked with the economy.  “How close were you to graduating?’

“I had one semester left.”  He laughed, shook his head, and took a big swing of beer.

I raised my eyebrows and and waited… but there was no punchline.  “You’re kidding, right?’

“Nope.”

“You were one semester away from graduating with an engineering degree from a prestigious UC school… and you just quit?  Are you freakin’ kidding me?’

“I was making really good money – like, really good– much better than I ever would have as an engineer.  It didn’t make sense to continue.”

“But you were one semester away, Bean.  Just one semester.” I stared at him, unreasonably irritated by the foolhardiness of his decision.

He gave a rueful shrug.  “It was really good money.”  He opened his mouth to change the subject, but I wasn’t about to let the matter drop.

There was a reason I was single, despite working in a crowded, busy sportsbar.

“You’re an idiot.  Seriously.  If you don’t go back and finish that semester and get your degree, you’re an absolute idiot.”  I set my drink down and stared at him hard.

His eyes met mine, and he held my stare for a long moment. 

“Maybe I will, Becky.  Maybe I will.” 

**********

Today was The Bean’s last final.

When he went back to finish his degree, one thing led to another, and he made the decision to start over from scratch and “do it right”, to use his words.

I may, or may not, have called him an idiot again.  I plead the fifth.

Two weeks into his first semester we found out I was pregnant with the DragonMonkey.

It’s been a little over four and a half years since then.

He completed the whole thing in four and a half years, from start to finish, despite working around 50 hours a week, moving several times, and having two kids.  In fact, for the last two years, he’s been working two jobs.  For a brief period there he was actually working three.

He is graduating with a 3.9, with only three B’s on his entire transcript.

He’s graduating the top of his class in the accounting department.  A really nice accounting firm in Portland has already snatched him up, and as you all know, in less than two weeks we’ll be living there.

Bean, I’d like to propose a toast.

Here’s to the hard work, and the sleepless nights.  Here’s to the lonely weekends, and the staying up late, studying ridiculously boring subjects.  Here’s to waking up at three so you can have everything ready for work and still show up on time to your 5 am math class.

Here’s to $300 tax books that the bookstore won’t buy back because there’s a “new edition.”

Here’s to skipping new movies, and vacations, and even our honeymoon so we didn’t have to pull out a bigger loan.

Here’s to horselessness.

Here’s to you getting up on the morning after we got married, kissing me on the cheek while I nestled deeper in the hotel sheets, and still making it to your Saturday class.

Here’s to not punching your fellow students when they complained to the teacher about juggling their school workload with their part-time, minimum wage job.

Here’s to all of our sacrifices.

Here’s to us.

I’m proud of you, baby.

Now… let’s go have a little fun.

I Want to Be a Veterinarian

I want to be a veterinarian.

I want to be a veterinarian specializing in large animals.

I want to be a vet specializing in large animals, with an emphasis on equines.

I want to be an equine vet who specializes in reproduction.

I want to be an equine vet specializing in the comprehensive service of assisted equine reproduction, specifically artificial insemination as a viable alternative to natural breeding.

Why do I want this?

I want to do this because the longer I am married to The Bean, the more it becomes apparent that I have married someone who enjoys the finer things in life.  I have married someone who likes nice suits and black tie affairs.  He likes expensive liquor, and fine cigars, and formal business transactions. I have married someone who enjoys the smooth sound of a 7 series BMW, who likes the idea of getting into local politics, who enjoys expensive dinners where the meat is served with sides of nearly unpronounceable french-sounding sauces.

I have married a classy man.

I want to be an equine vet who specializes in AI, because one day The Bean will let down his guard and bring home some equally classy business associates.

Knowing how important this meeting is to him, I will have taken a day off of work and spent all day preparing.  The house will be perfect, as will I.  The Bean will usher them in to the front door (which might even be a foyer at that point), and I will glide forward to meet them.  I will be by his side, well-dressed in an elegant black dress, features accentuated with tastefully applied makeup, hair pulled back in a smooth chignon.  I will murmur all the right things in a quiet tone, welcoming them to our home, taking them past the elegant wall hangings and gleaming wood floors as we go down the hallway.

Together we will enter the dining room.  

“Oh!” I’ll say as we enter the room, raising a well-manicured, horrified hand to cover my mouth in astonished embarrassment.  “Oh, heavens!” 

I will rush forward, my heels making a smooth clicking sound against the floor as I gather the large cylinder from the corner of the table.

“I do apologize.  Please forgive me, I really thought I had put away earlier.  This is so embarrassing. “

I’ll hug the object in my arms and give a self-deprecating laugh.  “Murphy’s law, right?  Don’t you just hate it when you accidentally leave a giant artificial horse vagina out on the table when company comes over?  I am so sorry.”

I’ll stride to the doorway, dress rustling against my legs as I sweep past them with my arms wrapped around the smooth cylinder.  As I pass by them, I’ll collect myself and turn, completely poised.  “Please forgive me gentlemen.  I am neglecting my hostess duties.  After I put this away back in the closet I’d be happy to bring you some wine.  Red or white?”