The DragonMonkey loves trucks. They have wheels, they roll, you can crash them into things…what’s not to love?

Trucks, Trucks, Trucks. It’s even fun to say.

Except he can’t pronounce “r”s.

And he pronounces “t”s as “f”s.

So, what does truck sound like when you remove the “r” and replace the “t” with an “f”?

I’ll give you a moment to sound it out in your head.

Okay, Is everyone with me?

Yeah.

In the interest of keeping this blog semi-clean, I’m just gonna go ahead and write “truck“. You guys can use your imaginations as to how the following conversations sounded in real life.

“Mama! Want my TRUCK! My TRUCK!”

Then, after he had finished playing with it, he politely tried to share with me, handing me the plastic yellow truck with a huge grin: “Truck? Truck you? Truck Mama?”

Naturally, in the interest of sharing, it’s always nice to give Bad Max a turn with the toy:

“Mama give TRUCK to doggie? Doggie truck? DOGGIE TRUCK? DOGGIE TRUCK!”

My favorite conversation occurred in the grocery store, after I took away his toy truck for throwing it at people:

“TRUUUUUUUUCK!!!!! MY TRUUUUUCK! MAMA, MY TRUCK!” (keep in mind that we are in a very crowded grocery store at this point and that the DragonMonkey is impossibly loud when he’s angry.) “Mama, TRUCK! Truck now! Now, mama. TRUCK! Truck to me! Truck me! TRUCK! ME TRUCK! TRUCK ME! NO TRUCK YOU… TRUCK ME! “

“Awamahnkee.”

“What?”

“Awahmahnkeepeezmahnkeemama.”

“WHAT?”

Sigh (<—that’s the two year old sighing, not me.)

“Awah.”

“Are you saying ‘I want’?”

“Yup.”

“Well, then say it like that. Say ‘Iiiii’.”

“Iiiiii”

“WaaaaaaanT.”

“Waaaaaant.”

“Say ‘I waaaanT'”

“I waaaaaan.”

“Close enough, DragonMonkey. Now, what do you want?”

“Wan Man-key.”

“Monkey?

“MAN-KEY!”

“Blankey?”

“Yup.”

“You want your blankey?”

“Yup.”

“Well, then say it right. ‘Iiii waaaanT my BBLLLLLLLLLLLLankey, please.'”

“Mahnkey.”

“Say it right or you don’t get it. Say ‘Buh’. “

“Buh.”

“Say ‘LLlllllll’.”

“Lllllllll.”

“Say ‘Bllllll’.”

“Bllllll!”

“Say ‘Blllllll-ankey!’.”

“Blllllll…Mahnkey!”

“BLAAAAAAAAANKEY, DragonMonkey! It’s BLLLLLLANKEY! Not Bull-Monkey, not Man-key, BLANKEY!”

“Yup! Yaaaay, Mama!” Clap, clap, clap.

SIIIIIGH. I’m so glad my two year old approves of the way I pronounce ‘blankey’. It’s good to know he thinks I’m doing at least one thing right.