[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Cb59vJpxaE]

What if I told The Bean that she followed me home?

Hmm.  That might be a bit of a stretch, considering I live in California and she’s situated over in West Virginia.

What if I told him that she had the ability to predict winning lottery tickets, and then when it didn’t pan out I could just tell him that she lost the ability, like a little kid losing his baby teeth?

Or, hmmm…

What if I told The Bean that I pet her too much and her owners refused to take her back, saying she didn’t “smell” right anymore?  I mean, birds do that, right?  Think he’d buy it?

Of course, I’d still have to come up with the money to buy her.  I’ll worry about where I’ll actually keep her later.

Maybe I could hold a bake sale?  Would anybody like to buy some brownies?    That should be enough to raise the money, right? Would anybody like to buy a $650.00 brownie? Maybe two?  Let me know ahead of time how many you want – I need to head over to the grocery store to pick up a couple of boxes. 

I mean, look how happy it’d make me.

SIGH.

Horselessness sucks.