Monthly Archives: January 2012

Conversations With My Dog

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9

“C’mon, Max.  Time to come out of your kennel.”

Tick Tick TICK!  TICKTICKTICK!  TICKETYTICKTICKTICK!  TICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICK...

“Max, no running in the house.  Settle down, you’re going to wake up the babies.  Here, go outside and go potty.”

TICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICK –

“MAX!  Get back here.  Max, COME.  Good boy.  Now go outside.”

Tick. 🙁 Tick. 🙁  Tick.  🙁 Tick.  🙁

Silence.

“Max, you actually need to pee before you can come back inside.”

Silence.

“I am completely unmoved by the big, sad, “I’m-so-abused” look you’re giving me.  GO.  Go potty, Max.  Good boy.  There, see, was that so hard?  You can come inside now.”

TICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICK!  TICKETY! TICKETY! TICKETY! TICKTICKTICKTICKTICKETY!

“Max!  No running in the house – relax, dog.  You’re going to wake up the DragonMonkey.”

TICKETYTICKETY!  TICKETYTICKETY!  TICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICKTICK—

“LAY DOWN, MAX.  Good boy.  Geez, didn’t we just trim your nails?”

Tick.  Tickticktick.  Tickticktick.  WHUMP.  Sigh.

“Good boy.”

Tick?  😀  Tick? 😀  Tick? 😀 Ticktick :D?

“I said ‘Good boy’, not come here.  Go lay down.”

Tick 🙁  Tick 🙁  TickTick 🙁 🙁

“Okay, fine.  C’mere.”

TICK 😀 😀 !!!! Tickticktick!!!! 😀 😀 😀 🙂 🙂 🙂 TICKTICKTICKTICKTICK!

“Yes, you’re a good boy.  Good dog.  Here, let me get the eye crumblies out of the corner of your eye.  Ewww.  There.  All better?  Good boy, yes you are.  You’re a good boy.  Now lay down, right here.”

WHUMP.  Sigh.

…..

………

…………….

Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick.  Tick, tick, tick –

“Maaaaaax!”

Tickticktick?

“You better not be going down that hallway to drink out of the toilet.”

Ticktickticktick 🙁  WHUMP.  Sigh.

“That’s right.  You stay out out of there.  Good boy.”

……

……….

…………….

tickticktickticktickticktickticktickticktick

“Hi, Max!  Mama, Max open doowr!  Hi, Max.  Up?  Up on da bed?  Sweep wif Max?”

“Max, get out of there!  Quit sneaking down the hall and waking him up!  No, DragonMonkey, you can’t sleep with Max.  Max, GO.  And you – go back to sleep, DM.”

“Pwease?  PWEASE?  PWEASE SWEEP WIF MAX?  PWEASE?”

“No.  He’ll go pee in your room in the middle of the night.  Max sleeps in his bed.  Now go back to sleep.  Max, GO.  Go lay down”

Tick 🙁  Tick 🙁  Tick 🙁 Tick 🙁 

WHUMP.  Sigh.

………

……………..

………………………

tickticktickticktickticktickticktickticktick

“Max, come here.  I see you sneaking down the hallway.  Come lay by me so I can keep you out of mischief.  The DragonMonkey’s fine. Quit trying to check on him – you’re just waking him up.”

Tick 🙁  Tick 🙁  Tick 🙁 Tick 🙁  

Tickticktick.  Tickticktick.  Tickticktick.

Tickticktick.  Tickticktick.  Tickticktick.

Tickticktick.  Tickticktick.  Tickticktick.

Tickticktick.  Tickticktick. Tickticktick.

“Max, you’re stuck on circle mode.  Just lay down and relax, dog.  Your nails are driving me crazy.”

Tickticktick.  Tickticktick.  Tickticktick.  WHUMP.  Sigh.

“Good boy, Max.”

Tick? 😀  Tick? 😀  Ticktick? 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

“No, I didn’t call you.  Just lay down, Max.  You’re a good boy, but just lay down.”

Tickticktick.  Tickticktick.  Tickticktick.

Tickticktick.  Tickticktick. Tickticktick.

Ticktick—

I swear the next place I live is going to have floor to ceiling carpet. 

Either Really Complain or Quit Complaining

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3

Look, it boils down to this:

You can’t just complain about SOPA and PIPA. 

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, just google the terms.  The internet is on fire over these issues, and you’ll learn more than you ever wanted with a few clicks of your mouse.  The over-simplified explanation is that they are legislation to censor the internet that are being hidden beneath the guise of “protecting copyright infringement”.

You’ll have to go somewhere other than Wikipedia to learn about them though.  Today, Wikipedia is down.

So is Craigslist.

And WordPress.

And Mozilla.

In fact, there are quite a few hugely popular sites that have gone dark today in order to raise awareness. It’s kind of neat to see the unity.

Here’s the thing, though.  You can’t just complain about it.  If you just sit there and get outraged, discuss it with your friends and family, “rally” behind all the sites going dark, and dedicate your Facebook for a day by making a meaningful post about it…

You’ve done diddly squat.  You’re about as effective at preventing the legislation as if you were in complete support of it.

Talking and complaining about stuff accomplishes nothing.

You actually have to DO something about it.

So go here.

Write Congress.

Tell them how you really feel about it.

You know, if you don’t want to, you don’t actually have to write Congress.  I understand.  Life is busy.  There are kids to run after, and the car needs an oil change, and the never-ending stacks of laundry don’t wash themselves.

But here’s the thing:  if you do nothing, and this thing passes, then I don’t want to hear you complaining about it.