Dear DragonMonkey,

As we haven’t even begun potty training yet, I think it’s safe to say that we have a couple of months worth of diaper changes ahead of us in our future.

Keeping that in mind, I would like to respectfully submit my request to you:

Please stop giggling every time I have to wipe your ding-a-ling. It makes me feel like a pedophile.

Sincerely,

Your mother